People Aren’t Projects

building project

As men, it is built in our DNA to always want to fix things. We see something that is broken and we immediately want to fix it. We see a problem and we want to solve it. 99.9% of the time when she opens up to you about something, she doesn’t want you to fix, she just wants you to listen.

You ladies can relate. But instead of things, you do this to men. You start dating a someone, and he might not have all the qualities you’re looking for in a guy, but you say to yourself “I can fix him.” You see him as a project. You see him as a challenge. “Everyone else failed to fix him, but they aren’t me.” Challenge accepted.

We tend to treat people the same way. We see them as our projects. They might have an addiction. We say “We’ll fix them.” They might be living a lifestyle we don’t agree with. We think “We can change them.”

Unfortunately we have had this train of thought for a while now and it doesn’t work. If anything we tend to make things worse. We end up driving people away. They become turned off to us.

The problem with this thinking is that it is impossible for us to fix people. People aren’t projects. People are people. Only Jesus can fix them. Change is orchestrated from the inside out. Not the outside in.

We were never called to fix people. We are called to love them. We aren’t called to fix what they are doing. We are called to accept them for who they are. I believe if we would just do those two things, we will see the change in our world that we are wanting to see.


Damaged Goods


There is an alarming epidemic in our world today to place labels on people based on what they have done. We are very quick to toss people aside, give up on them, and write them off.

Women seem to take the blunt of this epidemic. A woman who sleeps around or has a past full of baggage, we refer to as damage goods. I find it very ironic that a man who sleeps around is considered a player or hero and is looked up too. Other men actually aspire to become like this person. But a woman who does the same thing is despised and looked down upon. If that is not a double standard I don’t know what is.

Unfortunately the group that historically has wrote these people off and considered them as damage goods is the church. The people that should be the most accepting of these people and welcome them with open arms, cause if you read your Bible that’s what Jesus did, do the exact opposite. Church should be a hospital for sinners not an asylum for saints. Church should be where sinners find loving arms to hold them not a place where saints slam the door in their face. Church should be people’s first response not their last resort.

It is time for us to see people the way Jesus sees them. We need to start viewing people by who they are, God’s child, and not by what they have done. People are not what the world says they are but they are what Jesus says they are. Romans 8:1 says “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”

There is a story that puts this whole thing into perspective. You can see the video here.

That is what it’s all about. Jesus died so that people don’t have to be prisoner’s of their past, don’t have to be judged, don’t have to be labeled, don’t have to be referred to as damaged goods. Let’s let people’s past be the past. Let’s welcome them with open arms. Let’s show them love. And let’s give them the hope that was freely given to us.

Just Be Held


I love the new song by Casting Crown called “Just Be Held.” I believe the message behind the music is something we all can relate to. Just look at what the chorus says.

So when you’re on your knees and answers seem so far away

You’re not alone, stop holding on and just be held

Your worlds not falling apart, it’s falling into place

I’m on the throne, stop holding on and just be held

Just be held, just be held

So many times we struggle to hold our world together. We strive with everything we got to keep our life from falling apart. We strain, we push, we pull, we reach with all our might. The only problem with this way of life is that it’s impossible for us to keep it all together. Look what Colossians 1:17 says “He is before all things, and in him all things hold together.” He, being Jesus, holds everything together. If your life is falling apart, stop trying to hold it together, cause you can’t. Let go and let God. Just be held.

I’m sure there is a single mom out there trying to do everything. You’re trying to wear all kinds of hats. You’re trying to be both the provider and the nurturer. Everyone is looking to you for answers. You feel like if you let go, you whole world will come crashing down. But you’re wrong. You need to stop trying to hold it all together. Let go and just be held.

There is another person reading this and your in the midst of a storm right now. Your circumstances and situation is overwhelming you. You feel like there is no one in your life that sees or understands what you’re going through. You’re trying to keep it all together on the outside, but on the inside you’re falling apart. Let go and just be held.

There is a poem called “Footprints in the Sand.” Look at the hope found in these words.

 One night I dreamed a dream.
As I was walking along the beach with my Lord.
Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life.
For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand,
One belonging to me and one to my Lord.

After the last scene of my life flashed before me,
I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
I noticed that at many times along the path of my life,
especially at the very lowest and saddest times,
there was only one set of footprints.

This really troubled me, so I asked the Lord about it.
“Lord, you said once I decided to follow you,
You’d walk with me all the way.
But I noticed that during the saddest and most troublesome times of my life,
there was only one set of footprints.
I don’t understand why, when I needed You the most, You would leave me.”

He whispered, “My precious child, I love you and will never leave you
Never, ever, during your trials and testings.
When you saw only one set of footprints,
It was then that I carried you.

Some of you reading this, that is exactly where you are. You feel like you have been abandoned. You feel like you have been forsaken. You feel like you have been forgotten. But the truth is that if you would just stop trying to hold everything together and allow yourself to be held, Jesus is right there ready to carry you through it all.

Look at Jesus’ urgent plea to you.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

If you are trying to keep it all together. If you are struggling to prevent your world from falling apart. If you are tired of striving to hold your life together. If you are looking for some rest. Stop holding on and Just Be Held.

You can listen to Casting Crowns song “Just Be Held” here.



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